How to live in harmony and peacemaking? 

 

Philippians 4:2-3 “I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to live in harmony in the Lord. Indeed, true companion, I ask you also to help these women who have shared my struggle in the cause of the Gospel, together with Clement also and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.”

 

  As people reconciled to God by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we believe that we are called to respond to conflict in a way that is remarkably different from the way the world deals with conflict.[1] We also believe that conflict provides opportunity to glorify God, serve other people, and grow to be like Christ.[2] Therefore, in response to God’s love and in reliance upon His grace, we commit ourselves to respond to conflict according to the following principles.

❖  1) Glorify God

➢  Instead of focusing on our own desires or dwelling on what others may do, we will seek to please and honor God – by depending on His wisdom, power, and love; by faithfully obeying His commands; and by seeking to maintain a loving, merciful, and forgiving attitude.[3]

❖  2) Get the log out of your own eye

➢  Instead of attacking others or dwelling on their wrongs, we will take responsibility for our own contribution to conflicts – confessing our sins, asking God to help us change any attitudes and habits that lead to conflict, and seeking to repair any harm we have caused.[4]

❖  3) Go and show your brother his faults

➢  Instead of pretending that conflict doesn’t exist or talking about others behind their backs, we will choose to overlook minor offenses, or we will talk directly and graciously with those whose offenses seem too serious to overlook. When a conflict with another Christian cannot be resolved in private, we will ask others in the body of Christ to help us settle the matter in a biblical manner.[5]

❖  4) Go and be reconciled

➢  Instead of accepting premature compromise or allowing relationships to wither, we will actively pursue genuine peace and reconciliation – forgiving others as God, for Christ’s sake, has forgiven us, and seeking just and mutually beneficial solutions to our differences.[6]

  By God’s grace, we will apply these principles as a matter of stewardship, realizing that conflict is an assignment, not an accident. We will remember that the success, in God’s eyes, is not a matter of specific results but of faithful, dependent obedience. And we will pray that our service as peacemakers brings praises to our Lord and leads others to know His infinite love.[7] (adapted from the Institute for Christian Conciliation, Peacemaker Ministries)

  The biggest challenge in any church is how to deal with relational conflict. Instead of choosing the ways in which the world would respond to conflict, it is the responsibility of each member at Rooted Church to be committed to the peacemaking process with any individual in which they might have some personal conflict.

  Wrong Responses

➢  Escape

  • Inaction

  • Denial

  • Flight

  • Suicide

➢  Attack

  • Retaliation

  • Assault

  • Murder

 Confession Principles

  • Overlook an offense

  • Discussion

  • Negotiation

  • Mediation

  • Arbitration

  • Church Discipline/Restoration

 Confession Principles

  • Address everyone involved – all who have been affected

  • Avoid “if, but, maybe” – don’t try to excuse your wrongs

  • Admit specifically, both attitudes and action

  • Apologize

  • Accept the consequences

  • Alter your behavior – change attitude and actions

  • Ask for forgiveness

 Four Promises of Forgiveness

  • I will not think about this incident

  • I will not bring this incident up and use it against you

  • I will not talk to others about this incident

  • I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder our personal relationship

 The PAUSE Principle of Negotiating

  •  Prepare 

  • Affirm Relationship 

  • Understand Interests 

  • Search for Creative Solutions 

  • Evaluate Options Objectively and Reasonably

 

 

[1] Luke 6:27-36; Galatians 5:19-26; Matthew 5:9

[2] 1 Corinthians 10:31-11:1; Romans 8:28-29; James 1:2-4

[3] 1 Corinthians 10:31; James 4:1-3; Psalm 37:1-6; Philippians 4:2-9; Colossians 3:1-4; 1 Peter 2:12;

   John 14:15; James 3:17-18; Romans 12:17-21; Mark 11:25

[4] Matthew 7:3-5; 1 John 1:8-9; Proverbs 28:13; Colossians 3:5-14; Luke 19:8

[5] Matthew 18:15-20; James 5:9; Proverbs 19;11; Galatians 6:1-2; Ephesians 4:29; 2 Timothy 2:24-26;

   I Corinthians 6:1-8

[6] Matthew 5:23-24; Matthew 6:12; Ephesians 4:1-3, 32; Matthew 7:12; Philippians 2:3-4

[7] Matthew 25:14-21; 1 Peter 2:19, 4:19; Romans 12:18; John 13:34-35